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 The differences between Man and Women showering…

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Sassy Kims
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Leo

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Join date : 2012-01-02
Location : Somewhere.... with Her

PostSubject: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:07 am


How To Shower Like A Woman…

* Take off clothing and place it in sectional laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long bathrobe. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat.
* Get in shower. Look for face-cloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash you hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
* Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
* Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on for 15 minutes.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and raw.
* Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off of hair (this takes at least 15 minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).
* Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
* Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces inn the shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country.
* Wrap hair in super-absorbent second towel.
* Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
* Return to bedroom wearing bathrobe and towel on head.
* If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to the bedroom to spend an hour-and-a-half getting dressed.
How To Shower Like A Man…

* Take off clothes while sitting in the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the “woo, woo” sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Check to see if you have pecs. Find out you don’t have pecs. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your balls.
* Get in shower. Don’t bother looking for a washcloth. You don’t use one.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
* Wash your privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar.
* Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner.
* Make a hilarious shampoo Mohawk.
* Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
* Pee (in the shower).
* Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub when you checked your Mohawk.
* Partially dry off.
* Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size. Leave shower curtain open and wet mat on the floor.
* Leave on the bathroom light, fan and as many taps as deemed appropriate.
* Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your balls, shout “Oh yeah, baby!” and thrust your pelvis at her.
* Throw wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed.
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unclegus
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Scorpio

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PostSubject: Re: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:14 am

lol!
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Purr
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Gemini

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Location : Somewhere .... with him.

PostSubject: Re: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Thu Nov 29, 2012 8:16 am

no comment
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Joy
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Aquarius

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Location : Lauderdale County

PostSubject: Re: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:46 pm

Oh...my...God....lemme just say that I could have lived the rest of my life never knowing what y'all do in there. affraid affraid affraid


lol! but still Shocked



I am so so SO thankful for separate showers right now. Giggle
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Synchronicity
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Pisces

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PostSubject: Re: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Thu Nov 29, 2012 11:23 pm

Well, I told my hubs he had boy cooties and I told my girls that all boys had cooties (to which they agreed), so I guess you just proved me right Giggle Giggle

And you must know some odd women if you really think we do all that...or maybe I'm not really a girl scratch I get in, wash off and get out. I'm not a guy and apparently not a girl, either Crackingup
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Joy
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Aquarius

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PostSubject: Re: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:23 am

Same here, Sync Giggle

I sure hope our guys don't do all that either. Please
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Synchronicity
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Pisces

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PostSubject: Re: The differences between Man and Women showering…   Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:28 am

Now the wet towel on the bed thing...arggh. But if I see one I just "accidently" toss it over a bit to his side of the bed. It doesn't seem to bother him to find a damp towel spot, so cool beans. Yeah, I could put it in the hamper, but this just seems more satisfying on a primitive level Giggle Funny he doesn't seem to do it very often now, though Very Happy
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