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 Puns Puns and More Puns

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Ubu
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Pisces

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Location : Here

PostSubject: Puns Puns and More Puns   Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:34 am


I laughed at most, but.........

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't
much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"

6. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"Well, It's Not Unusual."

7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I
was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at
either.

9. Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

10. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find
any.

11. I went to a seafood disco last week, and pulled a mussel.

12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

13. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,
"Dam!"

14. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it too.

15. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the
lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the
manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.

"But why," they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." (NOW
IS THAT GREAT, OR WHAT?)

16. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt , and is named "Ahmal". The other goes to a family in Spain ;
they name him " Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've
seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."


17. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good), a super-calloused fragile
mystic hexed by halitosis.

18. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there
was a small medium at large.

19. And finally, there was the person who sent nineteen different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No
pun in ten did.
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Purr
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Gemini

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PostSubject: Re: Puns Puns and More Puns   Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:39 am

OMG! Not you too?? Shocked
Sassy is contagious affraid
Giggle
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Joy
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Aquarius

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Location : Lauderdale County

PostSubject: Re: Puns Puns and More Puns   Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:45 am

All cute, but this one is just brilliant...

Ubu wrote:
17. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good), a super-calloused fragile
mystic hexed by halitosis.

Yes
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Sassy Kims
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Leo

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PostSubject: Re: Puns Puns and More Puns   Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:54 am

and always remember....

If you drive a train, you can't afford to lose track.
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Ubu
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Pisces

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PostSubject: Re: Puns Puns and More Puns   Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:06 am

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat when he came across two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a book while the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him proving even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp
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Sassy Kims
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Leo

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PostSubject: Re: Puns Puns and More Puns   Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:06 am

Lions don't have to worry about every little detail in life...just the mane things. Whistle
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Synchronicity
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Pisces

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PostSubject: Re: Puns Puns and More Puns   Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:39 am

Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup I love those yay
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