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 A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...

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cage the elephant
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Join date : 2011-05-23
Location : Meanhill

PostSubject: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:04 pm

While I realize that you are both still "lumps of coal", it is because of my beneficial nature that I shall attempt to bring you both into the 21st century, and turn you into "shiny diamonds". I know the task will not be an easy one, however, I feel that with my vast intellect, and Bohemian "Class", I should at least share some technique.

First, we shall start with your vocabulary.

Ready?


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT. ( You will be surprised how far this will get you in conversation with "blondes"!)


*She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

*She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

*She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

*She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

*She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

*She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

*She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

*She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CAREGIVER.

*She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

*She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

*She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

*She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

*She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

*She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

*She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

*She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

*She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
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Bluetick
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Aries

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PostSubject: Re: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:43 pm

Write us a story Cage. I can't wait to see what you come up with. I've seen some of your work. It will be great. Thumbup
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lmm
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Location : Colbert County

PostSubject: Re: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:08 pm

LOL, Cage.

I think those lessons will get the boys slapped a lot. Razz
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Bluetick
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PostSubject: Re: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:25 pm

I ain't gonna say Cage is crazy. I would say he utilizes an alternative thought process. Very Happy
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cage the elephant
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PostSubject: Re: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:03 pm

Bluetick wrote:
I ain't gonna say Cage is crazy. I would say he utilizes an alternative thought process. Very Happy

"Chemically Enhanced"
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lmm
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PostSubject: Re: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:06 pm

The best kind.

drunken drunken drunken drunken
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Ubu
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PostSubject: Re: A Lesson in "Class" for Blue and Ubu...   Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:47 pm

Oh Great and Benoevelent One,

I stand before you with my head bowed in awe of the vast intellect that is Cage. I am not worthy of this gift that you have bestowed on me. T'would be as if casting pearls before swine.

I beseech you to take this gift and bestow it upon The OtherLmm. She is more worthy of your attentions and more apt to take thy wisdom and venture forth to proclaim the wisdom of the one called Cage.

Your Servant
Ubu
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