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 Archery as a Child...

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Sassy Kims
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Leo

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PostSubject: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:27 am

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow
beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land
sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you
know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds
before it goes down? Tough sumbich .

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I
was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in
chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all
over the place.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large
rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and
see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether).

A light bulb went off in my head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would
probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a
10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound"
flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black
powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the
can of black powder.

My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but
it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz
(Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?

You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other
can, so I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're
cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock
to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow
launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my
dad getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work.

So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to
the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look
in his eyes.

I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce
the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main
pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot. When the shock wave hit
it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual
compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235
fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of
the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there
was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as
I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog
full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE COTTON PICKING
DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That sucker got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the
carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam flashback: ECHO
BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT
CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All
windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a
slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard.

There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard
and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I
know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my
own head.

I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I
don't remember much from this point on.

I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a
sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour
or so and you get the idea.

I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming
"Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.

Mom had been [censored] about that thing for years and dad never did
anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort
of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or
both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's
good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in
life.
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Ubu
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:40 am

Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:42 am

Wow!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:46 am

Okay, get this...........

We cut the hay last week at the house......so there's about 60 acres of hay on the ground........

I leave to go up to my mom's farm to do some work and finally get home around 9:30 at night.....

While I'm gone, the beast asks his mom permission to invite some friends over and..........................................have a bonfire affraid

So, I roll back in to find a bonfire out in the middle of the pasture................

and wifey can not understand why I am freaking out........

Is it just me?

dunno dunno dunno dunno
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:58 am

I haven't heard so, but I can pretty much assure you we are currently under a no burn status.
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:19 am

Per Alabama Forestry, Lauderdale County is not under any type of burn restriction as of today.

No, I don't understand why not either... Rolling Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:53 pm

Oh, Sassy!!!!! Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup Crackingup rofl rofl rofl


And yes, why aren't we under a no-burn order? The grass crackles under my feet and if there were a spark..eek. affraid

Ubu, I would have freaked out, too. Isn't it amazing any of us grew up alive? faint
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:56 pm

Synchronicity wrote:
Isn't it amazing any of us grew up alive? faint


As opposed to "growing up dead?"........... dunno dunno dunno dunno dunno dunno dunno dunno


Whatcha smokin' there frog legs smoke smokewings

Crackingup
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:58 pm

I was trying to be funny, Ubu, my dear. You are probably still overheated from that bonfire Giggle
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:00 pm




Whistle Whistle Whistle Whistle Whistle Whistle Whistle
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:01 pm

Blue.........I do believe we have our next pupil.......... Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:02 pm

I am at work, so therefore it isn't afer hours. So there Tongue3 Tongue3 Tongue3
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:05 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:06 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:07 pm

Aww, aren't you clever? You have a book for yourself to read when you're off duty, on duty, and when you forget where you are! Giggle
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:07 pm

Think I'll buy this one Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:08 pm

Some of us are just funny naturally yay yay
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:09 pm

Just for that..........look at what else I found..........((((((snicker)))))


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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:10 pm

((((running......hiding))))

Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:10 pm

Ubu wrote:
Think I'll buy this one Razz


Oh, don't turn into a meaniehead Sad I would miss your marshmallow-heartedness angel
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:11 pm

Ubu wrote:
Just for that..........look at what else I found..........((((((snicker)))))



Haha...now that one is hilarious!! Crackingup Sad to think someone might actually do that, but funny still affraid
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:12 pm

Synchronicity wrote:
Ubu wrote:
Just for that..........look at what else I found..........((((((snicker)))))



Haha...now that one is hilarious!! Crackingup Sad to think someone might actually do that, but funny still affraid


See.........that's what you (((ahem))) call a sense of humor.......good show ole girl...good show...... Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:13 pm

Ubu wrote:
((((running......hiding))))

Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle Giggle

Nah, no need to hide. I could find you anyway, but I know you're just trying to be being funny Giggle
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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:17 pm

tooooooooo funnnnnnnnnny

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PostSubject: Re: Archery as a Child...   Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:20 pm

Giggle Giggle Giggle How helpful!! But really, if someone is looking at those instead of watching where s/he is going, I think everyone will know who the Dummy is Giggle
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